


Things I couldn't say to you

by suchalongaway76



Series: Rocktober 2020 by Lily [16]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Death, Death of a friend, Feelings, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Letters, Other, Post-Reflections, Rants, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:26:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27698267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suchalongaway76/pseuds/suchalongaway76
Summary: Fitting the prompt 18 "Things Left Unsaid"---------------It’s November 24th, John it’s in his private studio, where everything related to the band it’s. Looking for something specific, he found a “letter” that he wrote in 1991, expressing his feelings to his friend, to his soul brother, to the first person that believed in him and in his capabilities.
Series: Rocktober 2020 by Lily [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956658
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	Things I couldn't say to you

**Author's Note:**

> I have some more fics from the Rocktober that I didn't post yet, so I'll post the ones that I could write in October.

It’s November 24th, John it’s in his private studio, where everything related to the band it’s. Looking for something specific, he found a “letter” that he wrote in 1991, expressing his feelings to his friend, to his soul brother, to the first person that believed in him and in his capabilities.

He sat on an old sofa and started to read the following letter:

_ Dear Freddie, _

_ I’m your friend John. Your little brother. I cannot explain how I’m feeling right now. I knew that your end was near, but anyways that kicked me. I cannot endure this loss. I lost to my soul brother. I have lots of things that I couldn’t say because I couldn’t see you that way. I have lots of hugs that I couldn’t give to you. Now I just have lots of sad tears and my words that you will not listen now.  _

_ I really love you, friend. Thanks for believing in me, thanks for supporting me with my songs… Thanks for writing songs with me, I really loved that and you can’t imagine how much. I felt capable of everything when I was with you. You gave me strength. _

_ Yeah, we argued. But were a family anyways and love won. Thanks for accepting my apologies about my reaction in the Magic Tour… Gosh, I was so low. I was in my worst moment and you suffered that fury. Despite I asked you for apologies, I never felt that was enough.  _

_ Thanks for being an uncle of my kids on tours, they still love you! I don’t know if I’d have more kids in my 40s but I’d give everything so you can see all my kids grow. Listen that they call you “Uncle Fred”. See them playing with your cats. Ronnie and I visiting Jim and you and having a nice moment together, as a family.  _

_ Damn AIDS. I hate that fucking disease, it quitted me your presence. The world’s emptier without your presence. **MY** world’s emptier without your presence. I don’t want to make more music because you were my real inspiration… Nor Brian nor Roger could equalize that. They didn’t know it yet, but I’ll quit to Queen as soon as I can. The band isn’t the same without you. **No one** can replace you. You’re unique. You’re special. You’re a legend. _

_ I hope you could have left this world knowing how much I love you and I admire you. _

_ Bye for now and just for now…  _

_ John. _

He ended crying with sad tears.

-Why I couldn't say all of this in person? WHY??? I don’t understand myself sometimes… -he said almost screaming.

Curled in the old sofa, with the letter in his hands, he cried until fell asleep.

His life was saved, but at what cost?

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please let me know by leaving kudos or comments below.  
> Your comment means a lot to me, always <3


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